Welcome to the New Year 2008 On-Line Edition of
Waterlooville's Parish Magazine
St George's News

Komic Korner

Nutty Notices

In a hospital:
Dangerous drugs must be locked up with Matron

In a Lift:
Please do not use this lift when it is not working

In a Dress Shop:
Wedding Gear for all occasions

Outside a Social Club:
Closed tonight for a special opening

On a signpost in a lane:
When you can’t see this sign the river is under water

In a hairdresser:
Haircuts half price today. Only one per customer

In a Jewellers:
Our gifts will not last long at these prices

In a holiday brochure:
Unlike some holiday resorts, the sea comes right up to the shore here

In a hotel:
Spend your honeymoon with us and we will guarantee that it will be the best you have ever had.
On a signpost:

Please do not throw stones at this sign

Komic Korner

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class about Daniel and the Lions Den. To illustrate the lesson she drew a picture of Daniel standing brave and confident with a group of lions around him. Suddenly one little girl started to cry. The teacher said “Don’t cry, the lions will not eat Daniel.” Snuffling back the tears the little girl replied “That’s not what I am crying about. It’s that little lion in the corner. He isn’t going to get anything to eat.”

A conscientious new incumbent decided to get acquainted with a new family in his congregation and visited them one Spring evening. After his knock on the door a voice called from within “Is that you Angel?”

“No” replied the Minister,” but I am from the same department.”

A new convert to the church was so troubled that he wrote a letter to the Inland Revenue saying “ Since I became a Christian I can’t sleep at nights so I am enclosing £100 which I forgot to declare. PS. If I still can’t sleep I will send the rest”.

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page last updated 23 January 2008