The Parish Church of St George the Martyr, Waterlooville

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Festival Edition 2013

Ted Inwood, 1936 - 2013


The Funeral of Ted Inwood took place on Wednesday 15th May. At the service, the following Eulogy was read by his son Dave.

Dad was born on the 22nd November 1936, he was the 8th child of  9 born to George and Nellie Inwood. He was preceded by Gwen, Bill, Winnie, Kath, Una, Iris, Jean and afterwards came Pat. They spent most of their childhood living in 17 Tewkesbury Close. A four bedroom house for 11 people, so many in fact, that when they had mealtime, they used to all pick a stair on the staircase and eat there.

During the war years, the family home was bombed and Dad and 3 of his sisters were shipped off to Clanfield, to live in a house that their father had built, on one occasion they had terrible problems with caterpillars, so Dad thought he would help out by sitting in the cabbage patch and one by one putting them through Jean’s toy mangle, or as My Auntie Pat put it, “the evil little git, squashed them all”.

Once the war was over they moved back into Portsmouth, and once again the whole family were reunited, as you can imagine with the never ending supply of playmates there was always someone to cause mayhem with; whether it was racing Pat up the road and accidentally stabbing her with a penknife, breaking into a locked wardrobe to annoy his sisters, or stealing one of their bikes and bringing it back with a puncture, Dad seemed to cause mischief whenever and wherever he could, and to be fair this was the case all the way through his life.

Dad went to Portsdown School and afterwards on to the Building School in Cosham where he became a carpenter, he was one of the team that helped build the original Wadham Stringer building in Waterlooville, a stones throw from where he would eventually settle down. The foreman at the time said he wasn’t so much a carpenter as a cabinet maker, I can fully believe this as Dad’s attention to detail was..…well….. really annoying sometimes actually!

Dad met mum in 1954, when he was 18, after he gave her and her sister a lift to the pictures; Mum “accidentally” left her gloves in the car, which he returned the following day, and love blossomed. They were married in 1957 in Wymmering Church, and initially moved into Tewkesbury Close with the rest of the Inwood clan, they then rented a room with Mrs George in Algiers Road, on to a police flat in Portland Road before finally settling down in Hambledon Road Waterloovile, in 1965, where they have stayed ever since.

Soon after getting married, Dad did his National Service in the RAF, where he stayed from 1957-1959; although he never really spoke about his time there, the one thing he did talk a lot about was the cricket he played, including reaching the final of the group cup. After he left the RAF, he initially went back to carpentry before joining the police in 1962, he retired in 1997, only to go back doing the same job as a civilian until 2003.

In 1969 they were finally blessed with their first daughter, Dawn, and I popped along 18 months later in 1971. My early memories are of  a very happy home, simple things such as playing in the garden, Dawn was an expert at mud pies, which she would make me eat, although we weren’t really allowed to mess up Dad’s lawn. Dad teaching us to ride a bike in the drive, or just throwing a tennis ball at us harder and harder until he was satisfied we could catch it properly, with varying degrees of success….. I can catch….. Dawn, well she is still work in progress.

Dad’s love of sport was legendary, it was mentioned by a family friend that whenever they came round there was always a green patch on the TV, whether football, cricket, golf, tennis or even bowls, Dad would watch it. He was always very keen to introduce sport to any unsuspecting individual, I know my love of sport stems from Dad, but he also managed to infect his nephew Terry, and even Dawn is a season ticket holder at Hampshire Cricket, along with her children. There are stories of family picnics where Dad would bat all day with all the kids trying to get him out, with little success. Of all the sports his main passion was football, especially his beloved Portsmouth, or his “Pomps” as he would call it, he would happily sit in his chair with Sky sports on mute, and listen to the radio commentary only interrupted by a phone call, which was normally answered with a “hello bruv” as only one person would be phoning at such an important moment…. his brother in law, and best mate, My Uncle Pete. They would then happily dissect every kick, tackle, and gormless refereeing decision. Until the 2nd half started and then they would repeat pretty much the same conversation at full time.

When Dad retired he spent a lot of time with Uncle Pete driving him around the country, where without Mum or Auntie Pat to keep tabs on them would get themselves into all manner of mischief. One time Uncle Pete had heard stories of a monster rainbow trout which he thought he could catch, Dad wasn’t a fisherman but enjoyed the open air so went along as Uncle Pete’s net man; despite knowing next to nothing about fishing he was able to instruct Uncle Pete exactly where to cast his line, and miraculously this massive fish jumped on the hook. As the fish was being reeled in, Dad was poised with the net. He scooped the fish into his net, which immediately broke. Dad was so keen to not let it get away he was all set to jump straight in after it, Uncle Pete one hand on the rod, and one hand on Dad to stop him leaping in after this fish, well somehow they managed to fix the net and land the fish.

Eventually Dawn and I got married and left home. Dawn married Lee and they produced Dad’s first Grandchild, Lauren in 1995, followed by Ben in 1999. I married Tina and we joined in on the Grandchildren act in 2000 with Sophie, followed by Jack in 2002 and Lucy in 2005.

I think because of the pressures of his job, he perhaps didn’t see as much of Dawn and I growing up as he would have liked. He certainly didn’t make the same mistake with his Grandchildren, they all idolised him, he was always ready for them with a packet of sweets in the cupboard,  1 pocket money on the side, or chasing them around the garden.

In later life Dad slowed down and really enjoyed his retirement. He still had a mischievous streak about him, and would love to go shopping in Asda to find his friends in there to wind them up, and I’m sure the local politicians will miss Dad’s letters advising them on how to run the local area.

He was however a real family man, and would do anything for Dawn, Mum and me. He was always very generous with his time, and would happily help anyone he could, never for personal gain, just because he liked to be useful. He will leave a big gap in the lives of people that knew him. A big chap with a warm heart, and I speak from me and Dawn when I say I’m very proud to call him Dad.

Dave Inwood