The Parish Church of St George the Martyr, Waterlooville

Switch on the oven and get out the utensils and ingredients.

Remove the blocks, fire engine and train lines from the table.

Grease the pan and measure two cups of flour.

Remove Freddie’s hands from the flour. Wash Freddie.

Re-measure the flour and put the flour and baking powder into the sifter.

Add the salt, answer the telephone, and explain that you don’t mind that it is a wrong number.

Return to the kitchen and remove Freddie’s hands from the sifter. Wash Freddie.

Pick up the pan and grease.

Answer the door bell. Tell him ‘no thanks’ you don’t want any.

Return to the kitchen and remove 1 inch of salt from the greased pan. Look for Freddie.

Find him and put the rest of the biscuits back in the jar.

Take up the sifter and find a heavy coating of nutmeg in it.

Head for Freddie who runs knocking the bowl off the table.

Wash kitchen floor, table, wall and utensils.

Telephone local baker and lie down.

Christmas Edition 2011

How to make a Christmas Cake